Darling,
How are you today? As usual i miss you terribly today. May is at Udon Thani already. She will bring your mom to do her passport very soon. I promise you, even if i cannot see you, i'll make sure you see your family members first alright? Bear with me for a little while, everything will be okay soon.
My work is going to end soon, and i will be starting my new job on Monday. I hope that my new job will be better than the old one..
Time is really crawling baby, and im enduring as much as i can. Sometimes at night, i will cry, cos i miss you too much. I dont know how to tell you, though our relationship is one of the shortest one, but i love you to a state that i cannot imagine. Will our paths continue to cross 9 months later?
My friend told me, as long as we are alive, we still have another shot at it. Like you, i have never been lucky in my love life, so i can ask this of you? can u be my last? can you be the last girl in my life to love?
Gina, no matter how hard or tough this may be, i pray everyday and night that this will be over soon. I pray for the strength to carry on this journey to ask for nothing but your love. My love is for you to keep for as long as u want...let tonight be a good good night, and for all the nights to come, i am still telling you, I Love You very much. indeed, very very much.
Loving you,
Dawn
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
2:41 AM
Thee Rak,
Sorry to write late today. Work until 12am, then went to eat with my friends at Golden Mile.
Thee Rak, today i am very unhappy. Everyone thinks im okay, but actually i feel extremely sad deep down. I really want to see you and talk to you very badly, but i cannot. The prison warden says because i have a traffic offence before therefore its considered a criminal record. I dont know when i can ever see you again. It seems like its going to be a long while before i can talk to you.
Have you received my letter? I will send another letter to you again. I really hope you will write back to me. I really miss you so much, every single minute i think of you, think of holding you...its getting so painful as the days goes by.
My dearest love, its raining again all of a sudden. Please keep yourself warm ok? I wish i can hug u to sleep, and while u drift away into dreamland, let me kiss you on your forehead and whisper softly, I Love You softly into your ear. Goodnight love.
Loving you dearly,
Dawn
Sorry to write late today. Work until 12am, then went to eat with my friends at Golden Mile.
Thee Rak, today i am very unhappy. Everyone thinks im okay, but actually i feel extremely sad deep down. I really want to see you and talk to you very badly, but i cannot. The prison warden says because i have a traffic offence before therefore its considered a criminal record. I dont know when i can ever see you again. It seems like its going to be a long while before i can talk to you.
Have you received my letter? I will send another letter to you again. I really hope you will write back to me. I really miss you so much, every single minute i think of you, think of holding you...its getting so painful as the days goes by.
My dearest love, its raining again all of a sudden. Please keep yourself warm ok? I wish i can hug u to sleep, and while u drift away into dreamland, let me kiss you on your forehead and whisper softly, I Love You softly into your ear. Goodnight love.
Loving you dearly,
Dawn
Monday, September 28, 2009
1:13 AM
Thee Rak,
Today really very tired. Dont know why. Didnt talk to May much also. Tomorrow she going back to Udon and will bring your mama to make her passport.
I am very unhappy today. But even if i am unhappy, i try my best to pretend everything is okay. I still force myself to eat and rest. Because i need the energy to stay alive, to see you again.
No matter how tired i am, i still miss you very much & no matter how i tired i may be, tonight, i still want to tell you, that I Love you very much. I really do.
Good night my love and will u please tell me in my dreams, that everything will be okay? I need your love so much.
Forever yours,
Dawn
Today really very tired. Dont know why. Didnt talk to May much also. Tomorrow she going back to Udon and will bring your mama to make her passport.
I am very unhappy today. But even if i am unhappy, i try my best to pretend everything is okay. I still force myself to eat and rest. Because i need the energy to stay alive, to see you again.
No matter how tired i am, i still miss you very much & no matter how i tired i may be, tonight, i still want to tell you, that I Love you very much. I really do.
Good night my love and will u please tell me in my dreams, that everything will be okay? I need your love so much.
Forever yours,
Dawn
Saturday, September 26, 2009
9:44PM
Love,
Ah May reach Bangkok safely already. I just called her. She is okay, she say the room still has your smell & she misses you so much.
She called your friend porche, and she will go over to accompany Ah may later. I will call Ah May again at 11 pm to make sure shes ok.
Ah May will go and find your Mom once she settle the house with the agent in BKK, and your mom will be coming very soon to Singapore ok? 3 of us will come see you... =D
How i wish i can just hug u now, and tell u everything will be okay. Everything will be over soon. Please stay strong love, i am sure dawn will come after darkness and i look forward to have you in my arms again. I will hold you so tight i'll never left u leave my side anymore. I promise to love you, make you happy and smile every day.
Today is a boring Saturday without u. I will just stay home and think of you. But of course, before i go tonight, Let me tell you, I Love you.
Ah May reach Bangkok safely already. I just called her. She is okay, she say the room still has your smell & she misses you so much.
She called your friend porche, and she will go over to accompany Ah may later. I will call Ah May again at 11 pm to make sure shes ok.
Ah May will go and find your Mom once she settle the house with the agent in BKK, and your mom will be coming very soon to Singapore ok? 3 of us will come see you... =D
How i wish i can just hug u now, and tell u everything will be okay. Everything will be over soon. Please stay strong love, i am sure dawn will come after darkness and i look forward to have you in my arms again. I will hold you so tight i'll never left u leave my side anymore. I promise to love you, make you happy and smile every day.
Today is a boring Saturday without u. I will just stay home and think of you. But of course, before i go tonight, Let me tell you, I Love you.
Friday, September 25, 2009
4:06 AM
Ti Rak,
today i very happy. Cos Ah May call me Nong Rak, and i call her Pi Rak. Both of us will work very hard to earn $ and wait for you to come out. Ti Rak Nong Rak and Pi Rak will have a happy happy life in Thailand. Are you happy?
Me and Pi Rak talk alot about you today on the phone. I tell her, we only have each other now. We will support each other emotionally through this...U dont worry ok? We will be able to get through this together...
Ti Rak, everyday i still miss you very much. No matter how people can say i am stupid or foolish, i will still follow my heart, and that heart is already yours to keep. I will stay strong, and true to it irregardless.
The best thing in life is to have a love thats true and sincere, through you, i found love, not only yours, but also sister love through Ah May. Ti Rak, thank you for coming into my life, and thank you for loving me.
This heart of mine only has this to say - I Love You, and i always will.
Rak Jin Jin,
Dawn
today i very happy. Cos Ah May call me Nong Rak, and i call her Pi Rak. Both of us will work very hard to earn $ and wait for you to come out. Ti Rak Nong Rak and Pi Rak will have a happy happy life in Thailand. Are you happy?
Me and Pi Rak talk alot about you today on the phone. I tell her, we only have each other now. We will support each other emotionally through this...U dont worry ok? We will be able to get through this together...
Ti Rak, everyday i still miss you very much. No matter how people can say i am stupid or foolish, i will still follow my heart, and that heart is already yours to keep. I will stay strong, and true to it irregardless.
The best thing in life is to have a love thats true and sincere, through you, i found love, not only yours, but also sister love through Ah May. Ti Rak, thank you for coming into my life, and thank you for loving me.
This heart of mine only has this to say - I Love You, and i always will.
Rak Jin Jin,
Dawn
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
11:38 PM
Rak,
how are you today? Today i go work, so tiring. Jd's hearing is tomorrow, but i wont be going cos need to work.
I have good news for you.. May going back to BKK on friday already. Then will bring your mom to do her passport. After that they will be coming to Singapore to see you in Oct. Your mom and ah may will stay at my place, and i will accompany them to visit you. I really hope the warden allows me to go in with them, cos i really want to see you too.
I miss you so badly till i cannot sleep well these days.
Rak, do u miss me too? I put all your clothes on my bed cos it has ur smell. It seems as though u are sleeping right beside me. Sometimes if im a little bit lucky, i may even dream of u. Thats the only time i can feel you, and that is so important to me.
Today, i was telling my friend, how much i hate myself, for not loving you any earlier. If i had just be honest to my feelings and told u straight from the start, will we be apart right now? Its so unbearable not to have u by my side really. I was just getting addicted to you, and u were already something i couldnt/wouldnt stop.
My dearest love, tonight is just another painful and dreary night without you, and it wouldnt be complete if i hadnt say this to you, I hope my love will bring you home one day. I love you very much. Goodnight...
Ti Rak, Dawn
how are you today? Today i go work, so tiring. Jd's hearing is tomorrow, but i wont be going cos need to work.
I have good news for you.. May going back to BKK on friday already. Then will bring your mom to do her passport. After that they will be coming to Singapore to see you in Oct. Your mom and ah may will stay at my place, and i will accompany them to visit you. I really hope the warden allows me to go in with them, cos i really want to see you too.
I miss you so badly till i cannot sleep well these days.
Rak, do u miss me too? I put all your clothes on my bed cos it has ur smell. It seems as though u are sleeping right beside me. Sometimes if im a little bit lucky, i may even dream of u. Thats the only time i can feel you, and that is so important to me.
Today, i was telling my friend, how much i hate myself, for not loving you any earlier. If i had just be honest to my feelings and told u straight from the start, will we be apart right now? Its so unbearable not to have u by my side really. I was just getting addicted to you, and u were already something i couldnt/wouldnt stop.
My dearest love, tonight is just another painful and dreary night without you, and it wouldnt be complete if i hadnt say this to you, I hope my love will bring you home one day. I love you very much. Goodnight...
Ti Rak, Dawn
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
9:26 PM
When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Ti Rak...i miss you everyday..i sleep only when i get physically worn out. And even in my sleep, you are running around in my mind..
I am going to pick Ah May up and send her to the airport this friday. She will go back to bkk then Udon Thani to meet your mother, then they will come back to SG to visit you. Be patient ok? I am doing everything i can to let them see you soonest.
Ti Rak, i'll try to have an early night today, but of course, before i go, i just want to say, I Love You.
very much.
Love, Dawn
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Ti Rak...i miss you everyday..i sleep only when i get physically worn out. And even in my sleep, you are running around in my mind..
I am going to pick Ah May up and send her to the airport this friday. She will go back to bkk then Udon Thani to meet your mother, then they will come back to SG to visit you. Be patient ok? I am doing everything i can to let them see you soonest.
Ti Rak, i'll try to have an early night today, but of course, before i go, i just want to say, I Love You.
very much.
Love, Dawn
12:21 AM
Ti Rak,
Its raining today...you know how missing someone gets awfully unbearable when it rains?
I slept alot today and i dreamt of you. It was a happy dream.
We shared a really big apartment, on the 4th level. We cooked dinner together, watched TV in each other's arms and fell asleep on our big comfortable bed. Its a dream i know, but its a dream that i want so badly to come true. Do you feel the same way too?
I hope you are doing fine inside. Its starting to rain abit these days, please keep yourself warm, eat your meals and sleep well at night ok? I know it may be boring and time seems to be crawling. But remember, we are all waiting for you patiently out here for the big reunion. I hope we will all be in time for Song Kran in Bangkok. I promise, by the time you come back to Bangkok, it would be a whole new life for us.
I need to sleep earlier today cos tomorrow have to go to work at 8 in the morning, but of course, before i sleep, i still want to tell you, my love, Chan Rak Kun. I love you very much.
Sweet dreams, loving you always,
Dawn
Its raining today...you know how missing someone gets awfully unbearable when it rains?
I slept alot today and i dreamt of you. It was a happy dream.
We shared a really big apartment, on the 4th level. We cooked dinner together, watched TV in each other's arms and fell asleep on our big comfortable bed. Its a dream i know, but its a dream that i want so badly to come true. Do you feel the same way too?
I hope you are doing fine inside. Its starting to rain abit these days, please keep yourself warm, eat your meals and sleep well at night ok? I know it may be boring and time seems to be crawling. But remember, we are all waiting for you patiently out here for the big reunion. I hope we will all be in time for Song Kran in Bangkok. I promise, by the time you come back to Bangkok, it would be a whole new life for us.
I need to sleep earlier today cos tomorrow have to go to work at 8 in the morning, but of course, before i sleep, i still want to tell you, my love, Chan Rak Kun. I love you very much.
Sweet dreams, loving you always,
Dawn
Monday, September 21, 2009
5:28 am
Another bad case of missing you...
Spoke to your sister about the apartment in Ratchada. May mentioned that she may move to another cheaper apartment, and since I am going to get a job in Bkk, i suggested to move to somewhere which is ideally near my workplace and convenient for her too. I am thinking of getting a bigger apartment so when you come out, 3 of us can stay together. What do you think? I intend to also get a puppy for you, so you wont be too bored when i go to work. =) Do you like that idea?
Rak, the only i can keep myself happy now is to plan for us. Sometimes i dream of our future home, dream of how life would be if we can live a life together. Do you think my dreams will come true? My friends think that its such a brave move on my part to give up everything in Singapore and move to Bangkok with you. But, i think otherwise, honestly, it didn't take me much courage to decide, it just came to me so naturally that i actually have no fear about relocating.
Rak, while your inside, rest assured that my love didnt just stop, neither did it even suspend for a split moment. I still think of you, and miss you terribly everyday. Today, i took one of your sweater out from your luggage and hugged it to sleep. It felt as though you were just beside me. Thats the least i can hold on to now.
Everyday i pray, that i am indeed one day closer to you. And for the goodnight kiss i cannot give again tonight, i am still sure, that i love you, very much. Goodnight Ning, i hope i see you in my dreams.
Love, Dawn
Spoke to your sister about the apartment in Ratchada. May mentioned that she may move to another cheaper apartment, and since I am going to get a job in Bkk, i suggested to move to somewhere which is ideally near my workplace and convenient for her too. I am thinking of getting a bigger apartment so when you come out, 3 of us can stay together. What do you think? I intend to also get a puppy for you, so you wont be too bored when i go to work. =) Do you like that idea?
Rak, the only i can keep myself happy now is to plan for us. Sometimes i dream of our future home, dream of how life would be if we can live a life together. Do you think my dreams will come true? My friends think that its such a brave move on my part to give up everything in Singapore and move to Bangkok with you. But, i think otherwise, honestly, it didn't take me much courage to decide, it just came to me so naturally that i actually have no fear about relocating.
Rak, while your inside, rest assured that my love didnt just stop, neither did it even suspend for a split moment. I still think of you, and miss you terribly everyday. Today, i took one of your sweater out from your luggage and hugged it to sleep. It felt as though you were just beside me. Thats the least i can hold on to now.
Everyday i pray, that i am indeed one day closer to you. And for the goodnight kiss i cannot give again tonight, i am still sure, that i love you, very much. Goodnight Ning, i hope i see you in my dreams.
Love, Dawn
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday 1.23 Am
Someone told me i should write when i miss someone terribly. So here i am.
Its been 19 days that you have been away from me. I wonder how you are doing inside, if your eating and sleeping well and i want to know whats weighing on your mind. Tell me all about it.
I would remember always when i first met you at Sabai. It was the start of something i never want to end.
I met your sister today. She was telling me how you use to call out to me, asking jd if im ok, if im free to see you. I felt happy yet miserable at the same time, hating myself for not making the first call to you. Will things be different now? would life take a different turn if i went on searching for you from the start? I never even wished you happy birthday for a start, but if i can, will you allow me to spend your every birthdays with u, until the day i die?
Oh, today May taught me something new..mi mi ah lai kap, chao siu mai dai. =)
Gina, remember? if i am happy, you will be happy. and i am staying happy, for you, my love.
If i were to choose to meet you, and go through this all over again, i would. I will gladly, go through these long lonely nights without you, hoping and pining for the day you'd sleep beside me again.
Today is just another night, i go through missing you hopelessly till i fall asleep. For a start, your lovely picture for me to stare at till i drift away.
For the goodnight kiss i am unable to give you today, let me whisper to you gently, I Love You. Rak Kun jin jin.
Dawn
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